Stop thinking about what they’re thinking
If you’re feeling particularly fragile today, you might not want to read on. It’s okay, I’m not offended. You know why? Because I could care less what you think of me, my ideas, opinions and lifestyle… It’s not about you. Get over yourself.
An unbelievable chunk of our life is spent striving for acceptance. No matter who we are, where in life we are, we want to be accepted by others. If we’re not getting acceptance, we feel rejected. The problem is that this prevents us from doing the things we want to do, and it shuts down who we truly are. What if you decided to say f*** that. What if you cancelled your subscription to playing for the audience and decided that you were going to be 100% yourself for a change?
I wear elbow pads and a full-face helmet when I’m riding. Some would think that’s so nerdy. There are people who’ve been biking for two straight years and still can’t make it down Rupert without walking some sections. Other folks are in their late 30’s or 40’s, embarrassed about how they’re still single. Who the f*** cares. People will judge you. That’s life. In reality though, people are judging you nowhere near as much as they are on that tape playing in your head. It’s in your best interest to just let it all hang out, because when you’re authentic and vulnerable, people will see that you’re human—and they actually fall in love with your rough edges.
We all have skeletons in the closet, life-altering trauma, ideals we’ve failed to live up to, shit we regret, ways we wish we could be different, and deeply-rooted insecurities—that’s part of life. When we come to accept those things, we can worry less about the acceptance of others.
You have your way, I have mine
I believe one of the biggest failures in society today is the lack of recognition that other people are different than you. All too often I hear people say “I just can’t understand why he/she does/thinks/feels that.” followed by a wildly inaccurate speculation.
When you judge, you focus your energy into needing to correct, convince, control, or change someone else. Why do we do this? Because you’re being an insecure jackass, that’s why. And these insecurities manifest as opinions about other people.
It’s hard not to take nasty remarks from strangers personally. A great example of this is Facebook Trolls. Let’s chat about Bike Squamish for a minute (ooooh here we go with the hottest topic in Squamish!)…seriously, don’t we have better things to do than argue with each other?
Expecting everyone else to conform to your ideals is a losing battle. I believe it’s important to stand behind your values, but when you choose to hop on the asshole merry-go-round you’re only going to get frustrated and frustrate other people. The whole experience is a surefire way to expose yourself to a whole lot of unnecessary drama and negative energy.
“Don’t look down on anyone, unless you’re helping them up.” — Jesse Jackson
I think we would all benefit from becoming more mindful of our emotions and our behavior; and avoid asshole-like actions. Just because we’re “adults” now doesn’t mean we’re right and we can put others down—you’re still acting like toddlers throwing a temper tantrum over ice cream.
What would you say to a toddler? You’d probably tell them to go have a time-out and think about things before coming back—and then to apologize for being a brat. We all have opinions and our own set of values, but I think we can all agree that it’s not cool to be rude and cruel to one another. The world would be a better place if we could be kinder to each other, and take the high road when someone is being an asshole. Instead of basking in your ego gratification while judging others, seek to understand, expand your mind and your heart.
Becoming aware of your judgy thoughts doesn’t mean that you no longer have preferences. You’re allowed to feel that certain types of behavior is unappealing to you. The difference is in accepting others and their life choices, without needing to convince, control and make it to be about you and your ideals. You will never regret being kind.
Dropping into authenticity
You can’t fully experience anything if you refuse to subject yourself to risk, judgement and rejection. You’ve gotta just drop in. If you want the full experience, the rush, the joy, and all that the trail has to offer, you can’t cruise around the perimeter—right? You’ve gotta embrace those deep, dark places, and ride through the crazy shit, in order to move through it and experience the most growth.
Stop giving a f***
You only have one life and it goes by pretty fast, so why are you spending it worrying about what other people think? Follow your heart, trust your gut, be whoever you want.