Bravery/ Love & Relationships/ Meaning & Passion/ Zesty Adventures

Taking the Plunge into Unconditional Love

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What is done in love is done well

To embody unconditional love is to be completely accepting of what is, of yourself, of others and of the world; full of acceptance and benevolence, in the flow of life and the knowing of interconnectedness.

Love is not an end game

When we view love as a point at which to reach, we run the risk of actually reaching it. Your ego can convince you that finding a relationship is the ultimate goal, but it’s the opposite. Finding ease in independence where you embody love with or without another is what brings true meaning. No one makes you happy; happiness is found within. Until you live in compassion with yourself, the love you give will be conditional.

Being in love

When people say “I love you.” That’s not exactly what’s taking place. There is a “safety” sensation radiating from inside — not caused by the “outside” at all.

Love is like an ocean in which all life lives. This ocean is ever-present and connects everyone to everything, but you only allow yourself to experience this ocean when you feel completely safe. When you don’t feel safe you float around in a raft waiting for others to make you feel safe. When you develop the courage to create your own absolute safety, you dive into the ocean and discover all of the magic under the surface—you’re in love. When people are in love, they’re in the experience of love together. Totally separate, yet together in experience.

In the depth of love, your inclination is to abandon every need for safety, every mechanism of security that you have. — Guru Singh

Communicating in love

In our relationships, misunderstandings are unavoidable. Most times when conflict arises, one person or both stop feeling safe and they retreat from the ocean of love, leaping back to the safety raft. This is because being with an open heart in a dangerous situation feels unsafe. But if you can avoid retreating; if you can hold your openness long enough, it will produce an awareness of the solution to the danger. The natural reaction to shut down doesn’t give us insight into the solution and it stops us from being in love—the protection of living inside a raft also makes it impossible to receive love.

If you love them let them go

When you love someone and they leave your life, love doesn’t have to. Loving someone unconditionally when they’re gone means you practice love beyond any boundaries, needs or possessiveness. You choose to remain in the ocean of love—which is acceptance that love exists with or without another person, and regardless of the outcome, you want the best for the other person. When we unconditionally love, we transcend love. When you truly love someone, your love sets them free. It gives them permission to be, to do and to create.

Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold—that’s ego. —Maya Angelou

Relationships can be great teachers. They teach us that life is not about changing or controlling the outside world, but about molding and mastering ourselves and the perceptions from the inside.

Love the one you’re with

And by that, I mean YOURSELF. The person you need to be in love with the most, and who returns that love, in truth, is yourself. To experience true love is to first go inward to the very source of love.

Unconditional love is not an obligation, it’s a choice. Unconditional love doesn’t mean staying in a relationship no matter what. You’re not required to subject yourself to emotional or physical harm. It’s also not someone else’s job to treat you right. It’s YOUR job to treat you right. You must love yourself first.

A daily practice

Unconditional love is a courageous daily practice of loving without expectation. It is to be happy for another’s happiness. Loving is not saving another, but to share your wisdom on how to feel safe; it is to remind someone of their magic when they have forgotten. Healthy relationships thrive from noticing opportunities for more participation, not from looking for judgments. Love is never found within competition or comparison. As long as there is comparing going on, there’s no relating.

Choose to be compassionate and compatible for others to aspire. Strive to be the best participant possible…

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